i ate all this trash and my tummy is hurting real bad... so tomorrow's plan of eating exotic meat outside the veterinary hospital has to be shelved.


i bought pretty earrings though....

two grins

19/2/2005

1.15 am

i want to eat chocolates so badly today i ate a small five star, 3 perks and now this cadbury's desserts tiramisu.theyre all hideously sweet.craving killed. but i'm not satisfied. i am closing my eyes and pretended to be eating that thick hard and gooey cold chewy dutch truffle from birdy's that i so so so so so dig. mmmmmmmmmmmm.... actually i am not so much a chocolate bar person but my sweet tooth's on overdrive. but i think, the more a give her, the more she wants. so there. no more sweet for boni. so let's think of other things. so as i was saying, do wimmen deeply desire fascist men? and then what happens when feminist wimmen discover fascist men? do they have to kill their true desire for fascist man cause its against their politicial position to enjoy such pleasure? or does the feminist in her encourage the slave in her to unleash her servitude to actualise recognise and appreciate her true pleasure politics.and if she spends all her romantic energy analysing the relationship what will the poor slave do? doesnt she deserve her existence too? the above is an abstraction and any resemblance to anything supriya or anyone else might be saying is purely co-incidental.i should just write about chocolates. or shall i write about my positive views on interpersonal physical violence? nooo, not that. i mean.... how could you do that to me!! WhACK. there must be a way of recognising violence as not abuse between people. when domestic violence is not "domestic violence" but another honest bit of communication. ok, boni... you should sleep now. go to the fridge and eat the rest of the chocolate. brush your teeth. drink water. and sleep.

waaaaah no one reads my blog




fine,
i quit.

my chhamiya look for navami... sans the red heels talking to someone on the phone

ma clicked.

the most spectacular visarjan happened last evening...
the pregnant sky expressed as the dhaak beats rose .... quickly she was lifted and circled and plunged lest she bleed away before she's meant to.
she was created as per the committe's specifications. distance between the eyes should be...
bisu, ma's too fat. no no, madam, the sari wont stay if we maker her thighs any leaner. she needs more hay.
while the pandit says- veda, vedanta, vedanga vidya sthanebbo ebocho
khusur phusur- asur and durga seem to be romancing. she needs to look more aggressive.

post all the bitching sessions by the various wimmen in the pratima committee and bisu being put in lock-up on suspision that he was hiding explosives inside the pratima, the earthen pratima, vegetable dyed, ecofriendly was brought to tejpal.
there she was deified. by memory, ritual and lots of dhaak, dhol, kaashi, shaankh and dhunuchi.

i served thousands of people on ashtami and navami days. won brownie points from maa.:D
the evening programme was a very engaging kaavya-giti. violin, percussion creating moodspaces, rhythms and making narrative of the poems presented.loved rendition of papangul. i love verses! by the time it was navami night i had all the motivation for the chhamiya look.
wore my (sexy) red blouse and (elegant) black georgette sari with gold-red border. went for the maha arati and took the shankh and played it till i fainted and my lips bruised.dhunuchi, dhaak, dhol, kaashi and shaankh just right. very very heady. very very happy.
parents decide to go to shivaji park.(i agree cause i wanna buy those terracotta earrings). my dainty redblack heels sink into the keechad. my heart sinks with it. but i lift up the hearts of those boys sitting on scaffolds while they laugh at me clumsily trying to yank my feet lodged ankle deep in sludge. more brownie points maa?

strange feeling as the sky let go on dasami at chowpatty. i stood at the threshold watching the boys throw ganesh kartik saraswati in one by one.... and then a loud 'aasche bochhor abar hobe'... and plunge.
a sudden sharp feeling that i have not known. so much expression spilling out, so much restraint, all of it plunged into the sea before the rain may bleed her eyes.
to scatter the emotion, the dhaaki breaks the wave on to his friend and he yelps and everyone laughs. the rain is hard and suddenly it's all over.