Tuesday, January 29


My mother has given me an ultimatum. i need to tell her what my ideal partner should be like, so she can start finding. i need to be marriaged soon. my 95 yr. old grand mother says i am aging.

i can't think of anything. do help.

all i can think of is that his grandmother should be nice if she is alive so i can call her dida and ask about his childhood and then hers while i maalish her knees because she's got arthritis. and she treat me like her grandchild.

and his parents should love me. so that when love is lost between us two, i can go to them and they chide their stupid boy for not being kind to me.

and cultural continuity. so that when love is estranged, i feel comforted in familiarity of the cycle of festivals.

Wednesday, January 16

reminded me of my pondi trip

it was a trip. yes.

imagine this image cleaner, that phakashe yellow contrasting.
imagine this a little more azure.
imagine that mistique wave in the sky to be more defined.

that was the image.
need to clean my camera. GaH!

and then on paradise beach, i went back and stood in the lagoon, not a wave i could hear, not a rush,
only a surge inside me, as crustaceans crawled over my sinking feet,dragging their conch homes and fishermen's heads in the backwater, away sunken.
and i felt like i was me again. paradise.
alone. amazing.

Tuesday, January 15

i wanted to say i want to be in the sun with you
hold me, let's watch the stars
rise, while our hair catch the winds

and i said, "**** **** ** ** *** ****"

iwanu ga hana
not speaking is the flower.

namrata fasts on tuesdays

no food.
no kisses.